Have you ever had a dream that was so real you were literally surprised to wake and realize you were only dreaming? It seemed like a mistake to wake up shocked to discover you are in your bed, it’s morning, and the dream was just a dream. What? You’re kidding, right?
What am I doing “real” dreaming about him? We finally got together in a this-is-reality-type dream. He kissed me. I felt his warmth, his weight, his breath. He was older and we were just at the start of the relationship that, years ago, was all I wanted.
This is all terrifically odd because flash forward to now, many years later, I realize that he is the last person who would make a good husband material. He was self-centered, self-absorbed in a kind-of altruistic way, and more into his hair, his exercise regime, his Tae Kwon Do, and his life science research on fruit flies (that buzz around and hang around that fruit bowl even after the bad fruit is tossed) than, really, anything or anyone else. Or so I thought . . . But he loved to be flirted with, loved to flirt and pretend he was available and had pretenses for something with me. I fell hard in love and it was, as it turned out, absolutely nothing but a painful experience of unrequited love. Sigh . . .
Marry him? Hello. No. He was regimented and boring when it came right down to it, and clueless. Yes, bumblebees are fat, stubby and don’t appear flight-worthy, but they fly. Makes no sense. Get over it. Stop not getting the obvious, would you?
But he was delicious to look at. And kiss. Last night. Oh, my goodness, my make believe—as if it were a real—just a dreamy one night stand . . .
Can I just think it’s so—without any reality thrown in to mess things up—just for today.
I think so.
—SBM
Single Busy Mommy 