Yes, that string cheese that came back in the lunch bag (score!) that’s been out all day, in the cubby, on the playground, back in the car, is the best thing you’ll eat all day. The flavor of cheese is at its peak at room temperature and kids don’t have a dang clue and leave it sitting there.
Kids and food: either they don’t eat the best part, leave a plate full of pasta untouched, or take one of the four shrimps off your plate (that probably cost $2), took one bite and left the rest of the meat behind for waste. And how hard is it scrapping an unfinished plate of food into the garbage that is perfectly good, delicious, organic . . . and you are on a diet?
No one tells you about the topic of food when you are about to become a parent. This is a biggie and takes time to master. Here’s what you are going to go through, this is what you are going to be telling yourself along with a reality check to help you retain your sanity:
I’ll just write it off, if it’s ‘served,’ to me, once served that means ‘consumed’ whether or not it was eaten or dumped into the trash
Reality check: This one is tough because even though you reason that it was served and could have been “eaten,” it still hurts—almost physically—to throw away perfectly good food, when you want nothing more than to eat it, but you won’t let yourself, which is also hard. Double whammy.
Food keeps coming back in the lunch box. After I prepared it and all, it wasn’t even touched!
Reality check: look for the string cheese and eat it with a glass of wine. After the wine the uneaten food won’t feel quite as bad.
Yay! She likes cooked down apples! Great, I know that will work!”
Reality check: No, it won’t. Next week, she/he won’t touch them. Cooked organic apples, who cares they are organic and cost more. That’s not a question.
Yay! She likes cooked down blueberries! Yahoo, they’re great for her/him. Gonna stock up!”
Reality check: stocking up is actually okay when she won’t eat them next week—who knows why—because blueberries freeze well and last a long time in the fridge, relatively speaking. But blueberries come with the added danger of being the Sharpie pens of fruit. As you know, they stain like a SOB. Make dang sure you can account for every blueberry served, count them if served straight from the basket and then count what’s not eaten. If you don’t balance, get on the floor and scrounge around until you find that missing stain maker. I tell you this because they are round and roll. So, you are in the kitchen with a tiled floor and think no problem? Think again. That mofo is ball-like and can and will roll right onto the carpet.
Why doesn’t she like bananas anymore?
Reality check: because they are healthy, an easy snack, couldn’t be more convenient and a quick shot of potassium to stave off hunger. Of course, something that packed with value has to be something he or she hates. There could be no other way, and you knew that.
I’m only going to give her a small portion of pasta because she never eats it all. And leftovers, always a tough sell.
Reality check: rule of thumb is whatever you think, it is the opposite. You serve less, they want seconds. You serve more, they won’t finish their plate and you’re back to scrapping into the trash. Meditate on this, you’ll be fine . . . .
Does you kid have to go to the bathroom as soon as you sit down in a restaurant or worse right when the food arrives?
Reality check: Yes. Hello, of course. Consider yourself lucky if this happens when they first seat you vs. when the food arrives. Leave your jacket behind so they don’t give your table away.
I cook dinner for her/him (plain food) and another dinner for me, every night. that’s two dinners, twice the dishes to wash.
Reality check: Yep. And I get it. You think creating something else for her or him to “try” might go over well? What color is the sky in your world? You sound like a parent who has never been a parent and has no (and I mean no) clue. Give them what you know they will eat. Make sure to add a fruit and vege (they’ll eat) on the plate and call it a day and stop wishing they’ll eat avocado or rack of lamb. Let me give you some advice because I know you’re in pain: they won’t eat it! They’ll take one microscopic bite (that you need a magnifying glass to see) and say they hate it. Make it, whatever it is you want, then break it down into small portions and take it to work for lunch all week. Done. Give them the pasta with butter and a side of strawberries to your picky eater.
All she wants at restaurants is French fries.
Reality check: I know. Take the chicken tenders home and then take them to work the next day for lunch or cut them up and throw them in a salad. You would have never ordered chicken tenders, I get that . . . .
See, no one talks about the food thing. And the tastes change. It is it is an ever-moving target that for the most part you miss and only hit with basic white foods: pasta, bagels, potatoes, butter, rice, bread, French fries—did I miss anything? If you can think of any other white food that is not too exotic, do let me know.
—SBM
Single Busy Mommy 