Staying at home more (we still get out as much as possible), keeping little one off her phone, out of YouTube’s thousands-upon-thousands of tweeners and teens doing a dreadful number of pointless, meaningless (and extremely annoying for parents to overhear) videos that include many screams (over nothing, believe me), yells, annoying pronunciations of words such as adding an “a” at the end of words: not “Hi,” but instead “Hi-a” and not “No” but “No-a” and “Let’s get started …” is enough to make a parent swear. Ditto on some of these annoying kids on Disney shows, kids that mock their parents, rule the household, the sassy shxts (20 cents) that treat adults like they are uncool, pointless, meaningless (making the connection here?) and unnecessary.
Come on, own it mom. I do. I try not to swear with this stuff sweltering inside me at times. But sometimes I just can’t help it. There is so much swear about now.
So, we have (make that J has) come up with a plan to help me “control” my instantaneous urge to blurt out unsavory words that I know shouldn’t say in front of her. And now I pay for my indiscretions; the money goes into a jar for J.
Here’s the cost breakdown:
- Shxt – 20 cents
- Mo Fo – 2 cents
- Damn it – 10 cents
- Hell – 5 cents
- F bomb (any form, though I must say this one is costly since there’s usually several said in a row: noun, verb, adjective, adverb – 25 cents (each)
There you go. By the time masks are no longer required, J should have a down payment for a condo.
—SBM (owning it and not feeling quite as guilty as I did before now that I am creating a revenue stream)
Single Busy Mommy 