Will You Marry Me?

I surprised the telemarketer just now who called to sell me an extended warranty for my car. I interrupted him before he could get started with his sales pitch by blurting out, “Will you marry me?” Surprised, he replied—a bit confused, which I could understand, as it’s considered on the unusual side for a woman to propose marriage and it is very early on in our relationship. He said, “A… what?” 

I said, “I really want to get married, so will you marry me?” And he said, “Yes!” Oh, I am so happy! 

We are complete strangers, but I don’t care. Technically I am engaged. The only problem is I then pressed the two keys to block the call and now I can’t get back in touch with him to get wedding plans started . . .

I was previously engaged when I bought a taco at Taco Bell and on the hot sauce packet they gave me, I noticed, when I ripped it open with my teeth (your body’s pliers), it said, “Will you marry me?” I said yes in the car as took a bite of my taco. But the marriage was never consummated. 

—SBM